I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Candid Conversation.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, at the height of his star power in the late 20th century, he also starred in several critically acclaimed comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35th anniversary this December.
The Story and The Famous Scene
In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger portrays a tough police officer who poses as a schoolteacher to locate a fugitive. For much of the story, the investigation plot serves as a loose framework for the star to share adorable interactions with kids. The most unforgettable features a child named Joseph, who spontaneously stands up and informs the stoic star, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Arnold deadpans, “Thank you for that information.”
That iconic child was brought to life by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role encompassed a notable part on Full House playing the antagonist to the famous sisters and the haunting part of the youngster who comes back in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with multiple films on the horizon. He also is a regular on the con circuit. He recently recalled his experiences from the set of Kindergarten Cop after all this time.
Memories from the Set
Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.
That's remarkable, I have no memory from being four. Do you have any memories from that time?
Yeah, to a degree. They're snapshots. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, be seen, be in there less than five minutes, read a small part they wanted and then leave. My parents would help me learn the words and then, once I learned to read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was incredibly nice. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I guess isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a productive set. He was great to work with.
“It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a major movie star because my family informed me, but I had never really seen his movies. I knew the air around him — he was a big deal — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he had time. He was busy, obviously, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd show his strength and we'd be hanging off. He was exceptionally kind. He gifted all the students in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was the hottest tech. This was the must-have gadget, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.
Do you remember your days on set as being positive?
You know, it's funny, that movie became a phenomenon. It was such a big movie, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, visiting Astoria, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was brand new. That was the big craze, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.
The Line
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word taboo meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I understood it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given special permission in this case because it was funny.
“My mom thought hard about it.”
How it originated, based on what I was told, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Certain bits of dialogue were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it was more of a collaboration, but they developed it during shooting and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "I need to consider this, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a day or two. She really wrestled with it. She said she was hesitant, but she thought it will probably be one of the most memorable lines from the movie and she was right.